


Debriefing

by Lone_wolf625



Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: IAD Guys are Dicks, M/M, Magnificent Seven AU: ATF, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:15:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26651275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lone_wolf625/pseuds/Lone_wolf625
Summary: An op goes off tangent leaving Vin to answer to IAD and questioning whether he was right or wrong... and more. Will Chris have the answers he needs to hear?
Relationships: Chris Larabee/Vin Tanner
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little story that came to me as I was writing a longer chapter fic. Not really sure of the inspiration but I'm happy that it wrote quickly and smoothly... and hopefully someone out there likes it - even just a little. 
> 
> Set in the modern ATF universe- all those disclaimer things apply... If I owned 'em, COVID lockdown wouldn't be nearly so bad... 
> 
> There will be three chapters - but it's all complete (not a WIP for you WIP-a-phobes like me) and it will be all posted by the end of the weekend- short of a zombie apocalypse. Just gotta finish a little editing to make the voices in my head shut the hell up.
> 
> *** M7 ***

“Okay, Agent Tanner, let’s run over this **_one_ ** more time, starting with the operation’s protocols and exactly **_when_ ** and **_why_ ** you took it upon yourself to deviate from them…”

Vin drew in an exasperated breath, his right hand absently going to rub at the knot of tension that had formed at the juncture of his neck and shoulder. He cast a sideways glance to the digital clock hanging on the wall above the one and only door to the small conference room; it’s readout confirming what his body and frazzled patience already knew. 

He’d been at this with IAD for the past four hours. It was nearly 6:30 now and considering he’d spent the better part of the morning going over after-action reports and meeting with DHS, he was beyond exhausted. 

“We can go over this a thousand more times, ain’t gonna change what I already told ya’,” the young sniper replied matter-of-factly. 

“We’ll be the judge of that,” the older agent, Markham, if Vin remembered his name correctly, shot back snidely. “From the beginning please, Agent Tanner. What were the operation’s protocols and parameters?”

Vin closed his eyes briefly and forced himself to remain calm. He’d explained their mission at least a dozen times already and that hadn’t counted what he’d already written up in his report or had discussed with a half dozen agents and representatives from the other involved Federal agencies. 

To say that Carl Gale and his militia group were on the top ten watch list for the ATF, DHS and the FBI was an understatement. Each of these agencies had been trying to bring the leader of the Colorado Freemen to justice for over the past two years. The charges against him ranged from everything from illegal weapons possession, possession of explosives, arson, conspiracy, and terrorism. 

While there was no direct evidence that Gale had been involved in the firebombing attack on several Federal offices and private businesses, there was plenty of proof that members of his militia had been behind the attacks. That he directed or specifically gave the orders, coupled with the man’s own public declarations against the government, left little doubt that Gale was the mastermind. 

Catching the militia leader had been a different story, however. He remained safely secured on hundreds of acres of private land outside of Pueblo and guarded by a select group of men fiercely dedicated to him and the cause. Gale thought he was untouchable; and worse, he thought he was a righteous revolutionary, sent by God to save the U.S. from the corrupt government and politicians that had taken it “off course.”

“Agent Tanner…” Joe Hogan, the other IAD agent called out, “Your cooperation is not optional in this investigation. Do we need to remind you that the prime operational target was lost due to your going off-mission protocol? How do you explain that nearly eight months of planning and investigation were lost in less than a second due to your breach of duty?”

Markham leaned across the table separating the IAD investigators from the exhausted sharpshooter, his face inches from Vin’s. “Once again, Agent Tanner, tell us why you took it upon yourself to execute Carl Gale?”

Vin shot a blue-eyed glare back, determined not to let the other men intimidate him. 

“Carl Gale” Vin began, speaking very slowly and carefully, “had a fully loaded HK MP7A2 with the barrel pressed into the back of a hostage.”

He paused for a moment and continued. “He had already fired on our agents- wounding two- and there was every reason to believe that he would do anything to affect his escape from being taken into custody… including killing the hostage. From my position, I had a shot… and I neutralized the target, per standard operational protocol.”

“Agent Tanner, were you given the order by your SAC or _any_ supervisory agent for that matter, to violate mission parameters and neutralize the primary objective?” Markham pressed. 

“He HAD a hostage…” Vin insisted.

“Did you have an order?”

“He would have killed her… I could see from my position…”

“ **Did you have an order?** How do you justify your actions, Agent Tanner?” Hogan continued to drill.

Vin pounded his fists on the table. “What the fuck do you not understand? He was going to kill the girl? I didn’t have a choice?”

“C’mon Agent Tanner… you expect us to believe that? You’re supposed to be the best marksmen in the western division… by all accounts, probably the best sniper in any law enforcement agency west of the Mississippi… and you’re wanting us to think that your only option was a kill shot?” 

Vin groaned, shaking his head. “You don’t get it do you? None of you paper-pushing desk-jockies ever fuckin’ get it... ”

“Why don’t you explain it then, Agent Tanner?” Markham pressed. “Explain to us how you can justify executing a known domestic terrorist right as we’re closing in on apprehending him… before we can get him to tell us about the network supplying his weapons, his explosives, and better still… what his organization’s plans are for disrupting the upcoming election… pretty convenient that now his entire organization has gone underground and is scattered, don’t you think?”

“You’d rather have a bunch of dead agents and a dead hostage?” Vin snarled. “You actually think that a man like Carl Gale was _ever_ gonna tell us shit?”

“Maybe that’s what you wanted? Was it, Agent Tanner? Were you there to make sure Carl Gale couldn’t talk? Was that the contingency plan?”

Vin sucked in a breath in disbelief. “Are you fuckin’ kidding me? Is that what this is all about? You jackasses think…”

“It ties together pretty nicely, doesn’t it, Tanner?’ Markham interrupted. “Did you know that the hostage was his daughter?”

Vin swallowed hard, his throat going suddenly dry. “What?” he exclaimed. “No… how… s’not possible…”

Markham smiled coldly. “He was never going to hurt her. And now, thanks to you, he's dead, and she’s in the wind. We have nothing…”

“No… we never had any intel… no daughter… just the son that died in Afghanistan…” Vin recounted quietly. 

Vin’s mind began to race, replaying over every detail they’d studied about Carl Gale and his militia. Gale’s son, his one and only offspring, had been KIA along with four other men in his unit while driving in their Humvee outside of Kabul. It was the trigger that seemed to have sent Gale on his crusade against the U.S. government or at least been the gasoline on the fire of his simmering hatred.  
  


Dave Markham’s eyes narrowed, a sneer creasing his pock-marked face. “Are you trying to say that you didn’t know about the daughter? You didn’t know that Elizabeth Merrill - formerly Bethany Gale - was one of his most trusted lieutenants or that the girl is as much of a sociopath as her dear, old dad?”

“I’m tellin’ ya’ we never had that information…” the besieged agent insisted. “How the hell was I supposed to know who the _fuck_ she was?”

“Pretty convenient that you waste her dad, she gets away in the confusion, and just happens to have access to the millions in offshore accounts that Gale transferred into her name?” Hogan accused him. “How does all this just fall into place without a little outside intervention? Can you tell me that Agent Tanner?” 

“Just what the hell are you tryin’ to say?” Vin demanded.

“Are you upset with the government, Agent Tanner?” 

Vin’s attention shifted between the two investigators. “What?” he exclaimed.

“What was the reason for your visit to Cañon City six months ago?”

“Cañon City?” Vin repeated, his mind scrambling to recall. “I don’t know…”

“Come on, Agent Tanner… surely you’re not such the man of the world that you can’t remember a trip to a place like that? Should we refresh your memory? Cañon City - just a little northwest of Pueblo and Carl Gale’s base of operations… does that ring a bell?”

Vin shook his head vigorously in denial. “NO! I’d never… I was out that way hiking… you can ask J.D., he was with me… the whole weekend… We was up at Comanche National… the whole weekend… I swear! I filed a hiking plan with the park ranger… you can check.”

“And how difficult would it be to leave the trails and head back to Whiterock? I’m sure a man such as yourself knows how to cover your tracks?” Hogan accused him. 

“This is ridiculous! I was doin’ my job and y’all makin’ it sound as if I’s part of some big plot…”

“Are you, Agent Tanner? After all, Ms. Merrill or Ms. Gale, she certainly wasn’t hard on the eye? Is she your type?” Markham leered.

“My type?” Vin repeated. “Yeah, right… sure. I just love ‘em tall, blonde, and anarchists.” 

_Well… tall and blonde maybe..._ Vin thought to himself, but after that, his tastes went elsewhere.

“Maybe she made an offer too good for you to ignore?”

Tanner groaned and shook his head. Where did they find these guys for IAD? The connections and assumptions they were constructing were so weak that even the dumbest rookie could poke holes in them. To think he had something going on with some woman he’d seen for the first-time, and only briefly, through the eyepiece on his rifle scope was beyond ludicrous; Tanner smirked at the thought. 

“You finding this funny, Agent Tanner?”

“I’m finding this ridiculous,” Vin answered. Yet inside, the first inkling of fear was beginning to niggle at his spine. 

“It’s not going to be so ridiculous when we tie you to Gale’s Colorado Freeman,” Hogan stated. “Not even going to be funny for you when we charge you with murder one under the color of authority… and we can get it to stick since you had time for planning and premeditation…”

“Once we connect you to the Freeman, it’s not going to be difficult to show that you and your girlfriend Elizabeth Gale, worked this out together to prevent her daddy from falling into Federal hands. That **_is_ ** what happened, isn’t it Agent Tanner?”

Vin pushed away from the table and ran his hands through his hair. The ponytail he’d earlier tied at the nape of his neck was pulling free from the leather thong he’d used and strands of sun-kissed brown dangled loosely. His mind was scrambling to make sense of what was happening. 

“Talk to us, now, while we are in a position to still work something out with you. Tell us where Elizabeth Merrill is. Help us bring her in and we can put a good word in for reducing the charges that are going to be levied against you.”

Tanner crimped his eyes shut. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t even think straight. He wanted his team… he _needed_ Chris.

How had it come down from shooting a perp and protecting his team, saving what he thought was a hostage, to know being under suspicion of conspiracy… and worse?

Markham made a show of looking at his watch and groaning. “Well, Agent Tanner, it’s after 7. I bet you’d like to wrap this up… call it a day… maybe even grab a bite to eat? We can arrange for all that. Even arrange for protective custody somewhere decent… just tell us what we need to know…”

Vin smiled wanly and shook his head. “It's gonna be a long night, boys, ‘cause I ain’t got nuthin’ different to tell ya that I ain’t already said. You’re chasin’ a false trail here...shootin’ Gale - I was just doin’ my job… protectin’ my team… and protectin’ what I thought was an innocent bystander…”

There was silence in the small conference room for several seconds and Tanner thought that just maybe the two agents were relenting, lacking any actual evidence which he knew they didn’t have. But as his confidence in his innocence prevailing grew, Joe Hogan exploded up out of his seat, the chair flying backward and striking the wall behind it with a loud crash. 

Vin managed to stymie his reaction, outwardly at least. But inside, his heart was hammering like a rabbit caught in a snare. 

“Cut the shit, Tanner. You’re dirty… hell, your entire team is dirty, starting with your boss, Larabee. Then there’s Standish and don’t even get me started on Wilmington… and if you don’t want to play ball with us, then we’ll just toss your ass in a holding cell over in County and conveniently forget where we put you until you decide to talk…”

“You can’t do that!” Vin asserted desperately. 

He knew what would happen to a federal officer that ended up in the general population of a county jail cell. With no one to watch his back and no one knowing where he was, his chance of making it 48 hours without getting beaten to death was slim. 

“There are a lot of folks, decent law-abiding folks, that aren’t really happy with what the Freeman have done… we just let it be known that you’re associated and how do you think that’s going to go for you?” Markham insinuated. 

“My team…” the panicked sniper began.

“Won’t know where you went… not for a while at least.” 

“People get shuffled in the system all the time. We can turn you over to DHS… hell, they could ship you off to Gitmo on suspicion of domestic terrorism… what do you think about that?”

Vin’s mind was spinning. He didn’t know how he was going to get out of this situation. His eyes glanced to the door, quickly calculating his chances of making it past the two IAD agents and out of the room. Security on this floor was minimal, but he’d have to get down to the lower levels before they could lock down the building.

Five floors with federal agents and security… it wasn’t much of an option. 

“What’s it gonna be, Agent Tanner?” Markham taunted, leaning forward. 

“Piece of shit dirty agent...you’re a disgrace to the agency and all the men and women who are bustin’ their asses to keep good people safe.”

Vin’s eyes shifted between the agents and the door once again. 

Hogan was pacing in the back of the room like a tiger looking to pounce. Vin decided to make his move when the investigator was at the farthest point away. 

“Say something, Tanner… you owe us some explanation…” 

The young sniper drew in a deep breath, steeling his nerves and prepared to launch himself over the small table. Planting his feet flat to the floor, he shifted just enough to clear the chair and the edge of the furniture. 

_5...4...3...2…_ He counted down silently. 

And just as he was ready to bolt towards the exit, the door was thrown free, slamming against the opposite wall and remaining open. Standing in the doorway, larger than life and looking as threatening as Vin had ever seen him, was Chris. Just to his side was Ezra and slightly off behind him was Buck. 

They looked like the embodiment of one of Josiah’s sermons about avenging angels. They looked pissed. They looked like salvation.

Chris strode into the small conference room, his sheer presence making it feel even smaller still. He made eye contact with Vin, a brief glance conveying concern, and warmth, that was immediately replaced with a green-glare of fury that reminded Vin of the color of a summer sky just before a raging storm. 

“SAC Larabee…” Hogan exclaimed, backing even further away from the entering agent. “You can’t be here during an IAD debriefing session.”

“Is that what this is?” Chris snarled, offering the cringing investigator a look that offered little quarter from his anger.

  
“You’re not in charge here, Larabee,” Markham stated defiantly. “Agent Tanner is being questioned in relation to serious allegations.”

“Is that so?” Larabee asked, his voice dropping low and dripping barely controlled fury. “And what allegations would those be?”

“There are potential charges of murder under the color of authority, and possibly conspiracy, sedition… the list may end up being lengthy once we tie him to the Colorado Freeman,” the IAD agent responded confidently. 

Chris’s answering laughter held no humor and was short-lived, but it was Ezra who spoke next. 

“Have you gentlemen - and I do question my use of that term in this situation - forgotten that Mr. Tanner is to be accorded certain rights as a sworn and serving federal agent of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives? Among which include, the presence of counsel during any questioning, the presence of a union representative, the provision of interrogation only for _reasonable_ periods…” Standish paused and looked between the two IAD agents. “Am I going slow enough for you to keep up? Let me continue… Provision of suitable rest periods to include meals and drinks upon request…”

It was Buck’s that spoke now, his large frame standing just inside the doorway as though he was defying anyone to interfere. 

“They give you anything to drink, Vin? You’re lookin’ pretty parched… I sure don’t see anything to drink… Do you see anything to drink, Ez?”

“I surely do not see any suitable beverages,” Ezra confirmed. “Oh and don’t let me forget this one… and it is probably a major point in the agent’s rights, as I recall, any charges or allegations must be summarily reported to the agent’s direct supervisor prior to the initiation of any direct inquiry of said agent.”

“Were you notified, Chris?” Buck asked snidely. 

“They seem to have forgotten to do that…” Chris replied. “I wonder how that could have been overlooked.”

“We don’t answer to you,” Markham sneered. 

“No, but you do answer to me…” 

Vin looked up to see that Buck had moved aside and Director Orin Travis was now standing in the doorway. Not a large man in comparison to Larabee or Wilmington, the Director was no less intimidating because of his no-nonsense approach and low tolerance for bullshit. 

¨Maybe you can explain why you´ve detained this agent… this _decorated and respected_ agent… for over six hours without so much as a courtesy call to myself or his supervisor,¨ Travis demanded. 

¨We had credible sources...¨

Chris moved so quickly that even Vin was startled. Markham flinched as the ATF team leader was suddenly right up in his face. 

¨By credible, I assume you’re referring to that piece of shit Greg Stern that we netted at the Freeman bust? The one that’s been spillin’ his guts since we brought him into custody? The same rat that would sell out his own mother to cut a deal right now?¨ Chris demanded. 

Markham didn't immediately respond, but his lowered head answered just as effectively. 

¨How can you defend your agent when he blatantly violated the parameters of the operation by killing Gale?¨ Joe Hogan queried bravely.

Chris spun to face the other man. 

¨I don't have to defend Agent Tanner. His actions don't need any defense. Agent Tanner has always… **_ALWAYS_ **...acted with the highest accountability… and with the utmost regard for the safety and welfare of his teammates and civilians...¨

¨Oh, I’m sure he's a saint… Why don’t you ask him if he knows Elizabeth Merrill,” Markham insinuated. 

“If you’re implying that Mr. Tanner has some knowledge of Bethany Gale aka Elizabeth Merrill aka Lisa Cline, then you truly have not checked any of the recent intelligence from our colleagues at the Department of Homeland Security,” Ezra interjected. 

When the two IAD agents looked at him quizzically, the undercover agent continued. 

“The supposed daughter of Carl Gale is not the biological daughter of the former militia leader. He adopted her, not legally of course, although she did go through legal channels to change her surname in order to lend credence to her ability to lead his men… In fact, Gale kept her so carefully under wraps so as not to associate her with himself or the militia so that the girl could more easily move about to gain tactical information outside the militia compound.”

“That doesn’t mean that your man, Tanner, wasn’t working with her,” Markham insisted.  
  
“Quite the contrary,” Ezra maintained. “Agent Tanner has been a member of Team 7 for a little over three years now. Prior to that, he was part of the U.S. Marshall service out of Dallas and prior to that, he was indentured to the United States Army wherein he was stationed predominantly to points and places that have been mostly redacted from his service record and beyond investigation by anyone lacking an appropriate level of security clearance - which you two gentlemen do not possess.” 

“Get on with it Ez…” Chris’s voice warned. 

“Yes, Mr. Larabee…” Standish agreed. “To the point, Ms. Gale/Merrill/Cline has been on the DHS watchlist since coming to their attention two years ago. She has, since 2018 and up until two months ago, been living and training out of the country and therefore unlikely to have ever crossed paths with Agent Tanner prior to the interdiction against Mr. Gale and his militia earlier this week. A simple reference of Mr. Tanner’s personal travel - or lack- will easily verify that.”

“Matter of fact, while you’ve been here interrogating and harassing my agent, Border Agents along with DHS apprehended her trying to cross into Canada up in Sault Ste. Marie. They’re working to extradite her back to Colorado although it doesn’t really matter what DHS does with her at this point,” Chris explained. 

Vin let out the breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. He felt Ezra’s hand gently clasp his shoulder even as he looked up and caught a knowing, confident smile on Buck’s face across the room. 

“So, can we assume that any further allegations or inquiries against Agent Tanner are now null and void?” Orin Travis asked, looking between the two defeated IAD men. “Unless of course, you’d prefer to continue this discussion in my office, along with Supervisor Steiner… who I’m sure would love nothing more than to be called back into the office on a Friday evening.”

Hogan sullenly shook his head. “No, that won’t be necessary, “ Markham replied, his tone still hinting at defiance. 

Travis stepped to the side clearing the way for an easy exit but not leaving himself. 

“Agent Larabee, might I suggest that you and your men have had a long enough week as it stands. Agent Tanner looks as though he could use a decent meal and some time away from the environs of the Federal building for a few days. I’m sure I can continue to discuss with our IAD friends the proper management of future official inquiries.”

Chris nodded. “Yes, sir,” he replied before turning to Vin. “Let’s get out of here.”

Vin rose to his feet shakily and felt Ezra’s hand gently steady him with a soft but unobtrusive grip on his arm. It was gone a moment later, as though Standish knew the young sniper wouldn’t/couldn’t afford to show any amount of weakness while still in the presence of the two IAD investigators. 

Tanner followed Ezra toward the door, acutely aware that Chris was at his back, the SAC’s physicalness exuding a commanding power that went well beyond his stature or rank. 

Passing Director Travis, the older man patted the young sniper’s arm as he went by, offering him a genuine nod and brief smile. Vin tipped his head in gratitude. “Thank you, sir…” he began. “I…”

“Not needed... “ Travis interrupted, ushering Tanner out with a gentle push. 

Vin reached the exterior hallway and stopped abruptly. Buck and Ezra were already several steps ahead of him before they noticed he wasn’t following. 

“Vin?” 

Chris drew up beside the weary sniper. “You okay?”

Vin drew in a deep breath, willing it to steady him. He closed his eyes for a moment, opening them only as he felt Chris’s fingers skim gently along the middle of his spine. 

“You gonna be okay? They didn’t touch you, did they?” Chris as softly. 

Vin turned slightly and offered the older man a wan smile. 

“I’m good… now… I just… I thought… for a minute… it was lookin’ pretty bad, Chris… and I didn’t… I was thinkin’... maybe… and… they kept at me… “ Vin rambled. 

Chris’s hand pressed more firmly against Vin’s back; supporting and reassuring. Vin was exhausted, the day’s stress and emotions finally catching up with him. He wanted nothing more than to melt into Chris’s strong embrace and feel safe, letting the blond be his lover instead of his boss. 

But they were still at the Federal building with too many eyes and ears…

“Here Vin,” Buck called out, handing the disoriented agent a bottle of water. “You look like you could use this.” If the dark-haired agent had noticed the more-than-collegial touch, he didn’t comment. 

Vin nodded and gratefully accepted the drink. Uncapping the bottle, he down the entire thing in nearly one gulp, feeling Chris’s eyes on him the entire time. 

Finishing with a satisfied sigh, he made eye contact with the other agent. Chris was looking at him warily as the group made their way toward the nearby elevator.

“I’m okay, Chris… just a bit worn out… it’s been a long day…” Tanner confessed. 

Chris seemed to take a moment to assess him, but after a bit, the green eyes softened and with a wry smile, Larabee nodded.

“Yeah, imagine you have at that…” Chris agreed. “Travis was right, it's been a long week, and today has been hell… all the way around. Why don’t you get out of here. The major reports have already been filed and DHS won't have anything else for us until Monday or Tuesday at the earliest.” 

Vin nodded. “Think I’ll head home, then,” he acquiesced. “Have to admit that a long, hot shower sounds just about my speed right now.”

Tanner was sure he saw Chris shift slightly at that remark and he smiled inwardly knowing he could always make his lover aroused with even the slightest suggestive hint. 

  
“We should probably debrief at some point… I need to know exactly what happened here today,” Chris reminded him. 

“Yeah… sure… debrief… “Vin answered with a glint of a mischievous smile. “Whenever you want…”

Chris shot him a glare that held no real heat. “Get out of here, Tanner.” 

Vin nodded, stepping into the elevator with his teammates. As the door closed separating him from Larabee, his last glimpse of the blond caught Chris offering him a small, soft smile that promised a better night ahead. 

Inside, he leaned against the interior wall, grateful that both Buck and Ezra chose to remain silent and not question him about what had happened during his afternoon absence. He closed his eyes as the elevator carried them up to the floor with the ATF team offices his body feeling drained like he’d just finished a hard workout. 

He drew in a long breath hoping that it would settle the last of his frazzled nerves. 

It was all over… he was okay… his teammates had found him. He was clear… 

So why then did he feel like there was a rabid wolverine trying to gnaw it’s way out of his stomach and up through his chest? And how come it felt like Vin couldn’t swallow down the rising bile in his throat? For that matter, why was his stomach even threatening to empty when he hadn’t had anything to eat since the biscuit on the way in.

His heart was pounding and all Vin could think about was the need to escape. 

_You’re dirty… your entire team is dirty… you’re a piece of shit… dirty agent… disgrace..._

Vin opened his eyes and cast a desperate glance to Buck and Ezra, but the other two men seemed oblivious, their own fatigue at an overly long and stressful day manifesting in their lack of usual boisterous behavior. 

How he wished for Chris. The blond’s strength and confidence would surely help banish the insidious and irrational fear that was beginning to worm its way through Vin’s entire being. 

But Chris had stayed behind. _Left him…_

  
He was on his own. _Alone..._

The doors to the elevator opened and Vin moved out, head hanging low as the voice in his head picked up where the IAD agents had just left off. 

  
  


*** TBC ***


	2. Debriefing

_*** Later ***_

The heat from the water cascaded over his scalp and down his spine as Vin stood underneath the shower, his body still tense as he tried to let the stress of the day wash out of him. With his eyes closed, the gentle thrum of the water from the showerhead beat a welcome massage against his head, neck, and shoulders.

He’d made his way home after gathering his jacket and other belongings from the team bullpen, stopping only for a moment to reassure the rest of the team that he was okay. Their concern made his heart warm and the knowledge that each of them had been working diligently to effect his release from the formidable clutches of the two IAD investigators reaffirmed that these men had his back just as stalwartly as he worked to always protect theirs. 

Vin considered waiting until Chris returned back to his office, wanting desperately to talk more with the man or even to just sit silently soaking in the strong presence that Larabee exuded. It would’ve helped make the younger agent chase away a bit of the unsettledness the whole ordeal had brought on. 

But Chris had remained behind, probably speaking with Orin. Even more likely to put a little extra fear into the two IAD agents, Markham and Hogan. Vin almost felt bad for the two. _Almost..._

Vin could picture the encounter. A wrathful Chris Larabee, appearing like an angel of death, powerful wings spread wide like a majestic bird of prey as he looked down upon the investigators with eyes that promised fury and vengeance should they ever think to come after one his men again without legitimate provocation. There were few people the young sniper had ever encountered that could be as overly intimidating as Chris Larabee; especially to those who didn’t know him well. 

For Vin, the man had never been a source of threat or fear. The dark clothes and matching demeanor were nothing more than a mask. And Vin understood masks very well. He’d perfected his own over the past thirty years. Sure, he knew Chris harbored a lot of pain and hurt; but the clothes and accompanying disposition were nothing more than outward manifestations of Larabee’s underlying emotions. 

He understood the man. Maybe because in his own way, he wore black too. Not in the physical, but raher, the spiritual sense. And wouldn’t that just give Josiah something to ponder over?

But in reality, Vin connected with Chris because he understood the pain. Whereas Chris felt the agonizing pain of loss, Vin knew it from betrayal and distrust. Either way, it was an affliction that left deep, unhealed wounds for both men. 

Until they’d connected. 

Despite what life had dumped on them, or maybe because of it, the two agents found that they were interlocking pieces of a whole. Complementing and completing. It had never been a matter of falling in love... that had just come naturally. Once they both realized that the feelings they had went well beyond the realm of simply enjoying each other’s company, getting together on the physical and admitting to the emotions was little more than a formality. 

Vin worried initially that for Chris, their relationship was born as a matter of convenience; their common interests just making it easy for them to bond. But he quickly realized it was something deeper. That the care and concern extended far beyond friendship and the physicalness of their relationship certainly left nothing to the imagination or any doubts that the older man was committed. 

Just thinking about sex with his lover caused his groin to stir. Vin turned his body so that the stream could hit directly against his stirring shaft. The warmth of the water felt like soft fingers tapping rhythmically on his member and he braced his hands against the shower wall as he stretched his long body out to enjoy the sensation. 

With his eyes closed, Vin could almost pretend the gentle sensations were Chris’s hands; lovingly stroking him, helping him forget the horrors and stresses of the day. Chris’s hands were magical on his body, always able to work out the tension, the knots, and the pain, kneading away the physical as well as any mental and emotional problems Vin was battling. 

Vin lowered his arm from where he’d been bracing himself against the shower wall, the calloused fingers of his right hand began at his chest, lightly scraping past a peaked nub before moving over the hard curve of his pecs and descending along the defined musculature of his lower abdominals. The tips of his fingers slowed as they came in contact with the wet tangle of brown curls even as the knuckles on the back of his hand bumped against the beginning hardness of his cock that was jutting outward from between his legs. 

The touch, even light as it was, caused Vin to suck in a gasp of breath. His mouth coming open, the water from the shower rushed in to envelop his tongue. He let it fill inside, the warm fluid making his mind go to other places, _other things…_

Tilting his head forward, Vin let the water run out of his mouth, over his lips, and adding to the flow that was running down his chest. Rivulets formed from the soaked strands of his hair that clung to his face in brown tendrils, separate little streams that met at the notch formed at the base of his neck and pooled together to create a larger branch. 

Blue eyes followed the runnel of water as it created a path down his body. His hand cupped it, catching it briefly before it eeked through his fingers. Slowly, he worked the wet-warmth across the top of his glans, watching in absent fascination as the organ began to swell under his touch; lengthening, and thickening as it filled. 

He tempered the pace of his stroke, needing both the anticipation and the gratification to last, to take him to a place where it overpowered the remaining feelings of panic and fear that were still peeking out from the dark corners of his psyche. He wanted to forget. He wanted to escape. And more than anything, he wanted to feel safe and secure with Chris reassuring him that he’d done the right thing during the raid. 

Vin moaned, his fist tightening slightly around his cock even as he leaned forward pressing his forehead against the warm tile of the shower. His left arm bracketed his head, the curve of his back causing the water to course down his spine and over the firm curve of his ass. His hand increased the pace on his shaft, desperation growing as the voices in his head threatened to make themselves heard. 

The allegations of the IAD team clung to him like burweed and was just as damaging. While he had protested his innocence, deep down, that niggling voice had been questioning “What if?” 

_What if the girl had set him up?_

_What if he’d blown the operation?_

_What if he’d made a mistake?_

“NO!” Vin cried out, his hand moving almost frantically as it pumped up and down. “I had to protect the team!”

But _what if_ Chris was simply covering for him? What if Chris thought he had failed? 

“What if Chris is disappointed in me?” the exhausted agent posed dejectedly.

That thought stopped him cold, his grip dropping away from the turgid shaft, his arm falling to his side. 

Vin could feel a whirlwind of emotions begin to sweep over him. His stomach knotted and his throat felt as though he couldn’t swallow. 

_You failed…_ The voice in his head accused him. _Chris won’t want you… Chris doesn’t have time to deal with failures and losers…_

Vin slammed his fist against the shower wall, the blossoming pain in his knuckles dulling the knife-edge arousal in his groin. 

“Stupid fuck-up…” he muttered under his breath.

He should’ve known that things were going too good to expect that something wouldn’t come along and ruin them. He should’ve known that he would do something to fuck up the best thing he’d known in his life in forever…

“You gettin’ a head start without me there, cowboy?” The low voice was gentle and slightly muffled against the din of the shower, but Vin startled, caught unawares by the sudden appearance of his lover. 

Chris stood there, an easy grin spread across his face. Stripped of the dark blazer, Oxford-style shirt, and dress slacks he’d been wearing earlier at the office, the team leader was now leaning casually at the edge of the shower, naked, with one hand holding back the curtains as he prepared to step in. His eyes raked wolfishly over Vin’s equally naked and wet body, stopping as he took in the swollen and reddened shaft. 

“Figured you’d already be out of the shower by now... but looks like you’ve been busy,” Chris teased.

Vin turned around to face the other man, making room so Chris could gain access to the spray. 

“Took care of the horses first,” the young agent explained, trying to act casual. “Haven’t had much time for them lately.”

Chris nodded before he dipped his head under the nozzle, letting the warm stream flow over his head and upper body. “We’ll make up for it this weekend,” he assured Vin from under the deluge. 

Vin nodded back silently, inching his way further towards the back of the shower enclosure. 

“You hurt your hand taking care of the horses?” Chris asked nonchalantly, as he began to lather his body with soap on the loofa that had been hanging from a hook on the interior wall. 

Tanner swiveled around nearly slipping on the soapy tile. He hadn’t noticed that the skin on his knuckles was torn and oozing blood that was now slowly mixing with the water to form a pinkish swirl beneath his feet. 

“Uhhh… ermm....” He fumbled for a believable excuse. 

“I ‘spose I better not take my time in here,” Chris said jokingly, his face offering a genuine smile.. “It’s not like even that over-sized water heater we put in is going to keep up with a Tanner-shower after the day that you’ve had.”

Vin’s head dropped, his soaked hair dangled past his face as he tried to hide his shame and guilt.  
  


“Sorry, Chris…” he mumbled as he made his escape from the too-close confines of the shower. 

“Vin… wait!” Chris called out. “Hang on… don’t go just yet.”

Vin paused in mid-step, his body literally half in and half out of the enclosure. 

He felt Chris’s touch, the solid hand, and calloused fingers gently but securely grip his shoulder and firmly turn him around. 

“What are you apologizing for?” The blond asked. “You realize I was only joking… right? Come back here. There’s still plenty of heat left …”

Vin moved back slowly and reluctantly, his head still turned downward, his eyes avoiding Chris’s. Larabee continued showering, but Tanner could feel the other man’s gaze remaining on him. 

“So, you gonna tell me what happened to your hand?” Chris pressed on. 

“Ain’t nothin… just a scratch.”

“Yeah,” Larabee agreed. “In the scheme of things, it is… I know you’ve had worse and after all, it’s not like you got a limb hanging off or blood gushing out of you… at least not that I can see on the outside.”

Vin snorted and made the mistake of looking up. Green eyes immediately locked onto his and held him in check. Chris reached out and took Vin’s injured hand and brought it up for a closer inspection. 

“You realize that it hurts me when you’re hurting?” he asked as he began to tenderly wash off the damaged flesh. “Even when the bleeding is on the inside…”

Vin stood immobilized, not even flinching when Chris added a dollop of liquid soap to clean out the torn area where the edge of the tile had left a jagged tear. 

“Today, when I found out what IA had done and that they were holding you without any due cause… well… I can’t even begin to tell you what it was like for me. The threats and bullshit they were trying to pass over… and when I couldn’t even find out where they had you for questioning… I just…” The words tumbled from Chris as he continued to tend the injured hand. 

“Chris… I… the charges… the stuff they said…” 

“Politics and bullshit, Vin… People higher up that have an axe to grind with Orin and me and even the team… you just got caught in the crossfire.” 

Vin shook his head. It couldn’t be explained away that easily. 

“No… but… the op… the parameters of the operation… I didn’t have a lawful order…” he refuted. 

Chris stopped with Tanner’s hand and gently eased it back to the young agent’s side. Drawing closer, he moved until they were nearly touching torso to torso. The water from the shower sprayed between them, increasing the heat that was already building. 

“Is that what this is about?” 

Vin’s head began to dip down again but not before Chris stopped the motion by grasping the back of the sharpshooter's neck with his hand, forcing the young agent to maintain eye contact. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong…” he assured Vin. 

Tanner shrugged non-committedly. 

Chris pressed closer, their mouths inches apart. Vin could detect the tell-tale remnants of bourbon on Chris’s breath. _It had been a bad day…_

“ **_You didn’t_ ** do anything wrong…” Chris repeated, emphasizing the statement with a kiss. 

The first contact was brief and Vin didn’t respond. Not to be deterred, Larabee repeated the effort pulling the lanky agent to his body and pressing their mouths together again. His tongue sought entry into Vin’s mouth, and once inside he quickly darted past teeth and chased Tanner’s tongue before retreating and nipping at the sniper’s lower lip. 

Vin’s heart was pounding beneath his ribs and he knew that Chris could tell, the blond standing so close there was barely an inch between them. His lover was locked onto his eyes, and he doubted his lover would mistake the panic for his usual lust. 

He felt Chris’s hand begin to drift from where it had been resting gently on his hip and slide downward over the top of his thigh. Vin froze, one part of his brain knowing where this was leading while yet another was opening the door to allow _the voice_ to pick up its brutal discourse. 

_You’re worthless…_ it reminded him. _You fucked up…_ it accused him. _Chris doesn’t want you…_ it assured him. 

Larabee’s fingertips brushed over Vin’s now flagging erection. The touch became a caress, slightly rough but erotic, sending electricity shooting through his lower body, centering on his cock and calling back blood to the shaft. 

Vin drew in a long, shaky breath and tilted his hips into Chris’s now full-encompassing grip of his penis. 

“Yeah… that’s it… just relax... “ Chris whispered soothingly, twisting his body so that his mouth was up closer to Vin’s ear. He leaned in and added a little nibble to Vin’s earlobe before trailing gentle kisses down the shooter’s neck.

The hand on his shaft moved skillfully, small twists upward and little tugs of pressure downward. All the while Chris continued to distract him with nips and kisses on his throat, upper chest, and arms. 

Tanner stood rigidly, transfixed even, unable to give in to the sensations his body was experiencing despite the physical need and overwhelming hunger. His cock was on edge and surely leaking with desire, although between Larabee’s hand and the rush of water, the evidence was concealed. His balls felt ready to explode; the intensity of his pending orgasm was like the pressure on a kinked garden hose. Chris had gotten him back to where he’d been only moments before his lover’s sudden arrival… moments before the voices in his head had started dredging up old insecurities. 

“C’mon Vin… just relax and let it go… just let it wash away… I got ya’...” Chris’s voice was a soft mantra.

The dull rush of his blood pounded in Vin’s ears and he could feel his chest begin to heave as his lungs sought to breathe in tempo with the beating of his pulse. Chris’s hand was pumping rapidly now and Vin could feel the need to cum boiling up from deep inside his testicles like the start of a violent sneeze he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop. 

Chris’s voice continued to murmur encouragement. “Let it go… just relax and give it to me… let me make you feel good…”

Vin was close… so close. Just a couple more strokes of Chris’s hand would take him over the precipice.

“Yeah.... that’s it… just forget about today…” Chris continued the meaningless litany. “It’s all gonna be okay…”

Except it wasn’t…

Vin’s eyes flew open, his right hand streaking down to grab Chris’s wrist and stopping any further movement or contact.

The young agent took a half step back, separating the two lovers more than just spatially. 

“Vin?!” Chris exclaimed. “What’s wrong?” 

Stormy blue eyes stared back at the blond as Vin struggled to form words.  
  


“I… I jus’....can’t,” he stuttered. “S’no… good…”

Confused green orbs gazed back, even as Chris carefully released the hold he had on Vin’s still-rigid cock. “Can’t what, cowboy? What’s goin’ on? Are you okay?” he asked, concern laced with fear coloring his voice. 

Vin shook his head, whether in denial or to clear it, even he wasn’t sure. 

_Tell him the truth…_ the voice demanded. _Can’t you be honest with him…_ the voice accused. _Just get it over with…_ the voice advised. 

_How could someone like Chris ever want to be with someone like you?_

He’d asked himself that question so many times when the two of them first got together. In fact, it had nearly kept the two men apart; his insecurity coupled with Chris’s fear of losing Vin’s close friendship over a botched romantic advance. In time, and with Larabee’s stalwart love and reassurance, Vin had grown to become more confident in their relationship. But in times like these, it took very little for old habits to sneak back like some missing sock that turned up after you’ve already thrown away the mate. Inconvenient and useless. 

“Vin… please talk to me…” Larabee begged. 

Tanner wanted to, more than anything he wanted to confide in this man who he came to think of as the center of his world. But fear stood in his way. 

_You’reworthless....youfuckedup...hewon’twantyou…_ The voice was screaming inside his head now, the repeated monologue drilling it into his heart and soul. 

“I can’t…” Vin forced out, pushing away from his confused lover before throwing aside the curtain and stepping out of the shower, leaving a bewildered Chris Larabee to stand alone in the cooling spray. 

*** tbc ***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more to go... Thank you to everyone reading. I appreciate the kudos! :) Reviews are nice too.. unless you hate it- in which case, be gentle. Where do you think Vin gets his insecurities?


	3. Debriefing

*** M7 ***

Chris took his time finishing in the shower despite desperately wanting to rush after his obviously distressed lover. While he wasn’t totally sure what was going on with Vin, he had a fairly good idea where the younger man’s mind was at the moment. 

To say that the afternoon had been stressful for all of them was an understatement. The morning had begun well enough - maybe better than good considering that he’d woken up to Vin’s lips wrapped around his cock as the young Texan slowly worked his shaft like he’d seen the man do to one of those Bomb Pop things on a hot summer day. And unlike the frozen popsicle, Chris had hardly melted in his lover’s mouth. 

They’d made it into the office early - not unusual- stopping only briefly because Vin wanted a Sausage McMuffin and after all, Chris felt like it was the least he could do since they’d skipped breakfast thanks to Vin’s “slow and easy” brand of lovemaking earlier. 

There were the typical unit and division meetings yo start the shift, but since the past week had been focused on the Gale/Colorado Freeman bust, most of those sessions were brief. Chris and Ezra were scheduled to meet for an after-action conference with a team from DHS, while the rest of Team 7 had their own follow-up reports to finish. 

It hadn’t been until after lunch that anyone had realized that Vin was even missing.

Buck and JD had both gone their own way to eat, while Josiah was dropping paperwork off to the District Attorney. Nathan had left earlier to connect with Raine leaving Vin, who had said he was going to wait and see if Chris made it back from his meeting and go to lunch with the team leader. 

So when the others came back and Vin was gone, they wrongfully assumed that the young agent had left with their SAC. There were no messages, no voicemails or texts to indicate otherwise. 

It was only through a series of departmental rumors and Larabee’s sense of dread that they became suspicious that something was going on with their team sniper. By 3 pm, Ezra managed to confirm assisted by JD hacking into emails that would’ve surely gotten him disciplined - if not outright fired - that IAD had pulled Vin into interrogation for the trumped-up charges. 

Chris nearly lost it when he heard that they were actually considering a formal murder indictment against his best friend and lover for the death of Carl Gale during the Freeman raid. If Vin hadn’t been in position and watching over the team, not only would Gale have likely killed the young woman he was holding hostage, but he could’ve easily taken out Buck, Ezra, or any number of agents from Team 4. 

Immediately mobilizing the resources at his disposal, Chris set about affecting Vin’s release and acquittal. As the afternoon hours ticked by with agonizing slowness, Larabee’s patience wore to the breaking point, saved only from completely snapping by the wily aptitude of his undercover man and the complete backing of Orin Travis. 

The relief he felt when they located Vin in the seldom-used, 5th-floor conference room belonging to the Treasury Department was nearly palpable. But he shoved his emotions down, focused only on removing Tanner from the hellish interrogation he’d been subject to for over 6 hours and getting some semblance of revenge on the fuckheads that had forced his agent to answer the ridiculous allegations. 

Now, as the day neared ending, the week thankfully over and looking ahead to a long weekend and a chance to decompress and forget about bad guys, busts, and IAD assholes, the one person he wanted to focus his love and attention on was tied up in knots and hurting. He should have seen this coming. But he thought that their relationship had grown to the point where they had moved past these sorts of insecurities. 

_ Maybe it's something else.  _ Chris considered.  _ Maybe something happened with those IAD fucks? _

The blond finished toweling dry and drew on a pair of flannel sleeping pants that had been hanging on the back of the bathroom door. It hadn’t been his original intention to put back on any clothes at all. But Vin’s reaction in the shower changed those plans.

He towel-dried his hair and brushed his teeth, taking a moment to stare at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. The lines around his eyes seemed more prominent tonight.

“Stress will do that for ya…” He muttered grimly.

The lights in the bedroom were off when he exited the bath but even in the dimness, Chris could see the shadow of his lover’s form seated on the edge of the bed. Quietly, he made his way out of the room and quickly down the hall to set the alarm and turn off the remainder of the lights in the rest of the home stopping only briefly in the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. 

Chugging it, he fleetingly considered pouring himself a drink but quickly shot down the thought. The temptation to dull away the day was strong, but the reminder of the troubled man waiting for him in the bedroom took priority over his need for liquid numbing. 

Reaching back into the refrigerator, Chris grabbed two more bottles of water before making his way to the bedroom he shared with Vin. 

Although he hadn’t been gone for very long, the young Texan had yet to budge from where Chris had last seen him. Bending down, Larabee placed the water bottles on the nightstand before reaching under to snap on the small lamp. 

The soft light washed the room in a warm glow, unlike the heavier brightness from the larger overhead fixture. Accompanied by the deep ash hues that colored the walls and accented by the splashes of blues in the rugs and comforter that always reminded Chris of Vin’s eyes, the room was cast in gentle shadows that had always made it feel like a sort of quiet sanctuary. 

Chris had to admit that ever since Vin had come into his life, wherever the soft-spoken Texan was, so also was Larabee’s peaceful safe haven. Not that their life had always been perfect since getting together - they’d had their fair share of ups and downs. But the two men had formed a bond that went beyond companionship and physical need, a relationship that filled empty spaces in each other without asking or compromise. 

  
Vin was an amazing combination of youthful brazenness and spirit combined with faithfulness and deep-seated integrity that Chris had rarely come across in anyone. He’d instantly admired the man for his unfailing reliability and work-ethic, but soon found himself attracted to Tanner’s quiet unpretentiousness and sharp humor. It helped that Vin also loved the simplest of pleasures; long rides up into the foothills, cool nights out by a campfire, fishing for trout even when they weren’t biting, or just sitting silently on the deck and watching the stars on a clear, Colorado night. 

  
Vin soothed his soul in a way that even his beloved Sara had never been able to. Where Sara had brought excitement and mischief, Vin manifested peace and calm; something his heart had desperately craved after so many years of pain and loss. 

And now that same man who had filled Chris’s world with the very breath of life was sitting trapped in his own private hell. 

Carefully, Chris eased himself onto the big king-sized bed, determined not to startle his distracted lover. Vin remained unmoving, still naked except for the oversized towel he’d wrapped around his waist at some point in his frantic dash from the shower. 

Vin’s hair was still damp but lay in tangled waves much like Pony’s mane after being left out in the pasture for a while. Chris reached a tentative hand towards the unruly strands but hesitated, fearing Vin’s reaction to sudden contact.

Instead, he leaned down and pulled up the fleece blanket that was neatly folded at the bottom of the bed. Spreading it open, he crawled across the big bed until he was just behind the silent Texan. Carefully, he drew it across the tan shoulders, not missing the slight flinch or the hitched breath Vin gave as he wrapped it gently around his lover. 

“Talk to me…” Chris spoke softly, his right hand remaining lightly on the sniper’s shoulder. 

Vin drew in a deep, shuddering breath but didn’t reply. Chris moved in closer until his body was tucked up behind Tanner’s. His chest almost brushed the strong firmness of the younger man’s back even as his hip rubbed against Vin’s bare ass. 

Chris breathed a sigh of relief when Vin shifted ever-so-slightly into him, his shoulder almost nestling into Larabee’s.  _ That’s it… just relax and trust me… talk to me… let me help. _

_ “ _ You wanna’ start with whatever’s hurtin’ ya’, pard?” Chris prompted.

From the corner of his eye, Chris watched as Vin’s mouth opened to speak then closed without the man saying anything. There was a moment before Vin simply just shook his head, silently retreating back to his almost catatonic state. 

“Ya’ know you can’t hide from me… not after all this time. How bout’ I start and you tell me when I come close to what’s going on in that head of yours?”

Blue eyes, softened by emotion, darted to meet his and in that flash, Chris could see everything from fear to hope. He offered back his own encouraging smile, added to it a strong but not forceful pull of his arm that drew Vin tighter to him. 

“So let’s see…” Chris began. “We’ll start with you havin’ one helluva day and those two fucktards from IAD messin’ with your head.”

A shiver ran through his lover and Chris felt Vin’s body tense underneath his embrace. 

  
_ Go easy… _ he silently warned himself. Whatever Hogan and Markham had said to Vin during their lengthy interrogation had obviously shaken the agent and taken root in his psyche. 

“Whatever it was… it was all bullshit. You should know better than to believe whatever nonsense they threw at you. You know how those IAD pricks can be… they twist the truth and turn lies until they sound plausible…”

Vin sucked in another deep breath and Chris didn’t miss the way his left hand began to clench and unclench against his tanned thigh. 

“C’mon, cowboy… you’ve dealt with these assholes before… you know what tactics they use… hell, you’ve been through SERE in the Rangers even… this should be a cakewalk…” 

“But.. I… what if…” Vin suddenly spoke with a stuttered reply. 

Chris felt encouraged by his lover’s verbal response, even as disjointed as it was. 

  
“What if what?” he nudged the taciturn man on. 

“I messed up didn’t follow orders didn’t follow the operation parameters blew the op killed Gale murdered him make you mad disappointed in me can’t cover for me screw up for the whole team can’t even prove that I wasn’t in on it from the getgo just a fuckup…”

Larabee sat stunned as Vin let loose with a rapid-fire battery of thoughts that even Chris couldn’t totally absorb. 

“I’m sorry…” Vin said solemnly after a moment. 

Chris shook his head, worry and anger battling inside him. He was torn between needing to pull Vin tight to him and just love the man until his lover understood that there was absolutely nothing on God’s green earth that could ever make him feel any other way. On the other hand, Chris had an overwhelming desire to get in his truck and drive to Dave Markham’s house and beat the living shit out of the sonofabitch. 

“What exactly are you sorry for?” Chris asked.

Vin seemed to think about it, shrugging when even he couldn’t specifically articulate what he’d done that required forgiveness. 

“Jus’ everything… I fucked up…” 

  
Chris shook his head. “You didn’t… why in the hell would you ever think that?

But deep down, the blond already knew the answer to the question. Despite his confidence on the gun range or when dealing with a perp, Vin Tanner lacked any sense of assurance in his personal life. Chris knew first-hand how difficult it had been to convince the younger man that their own relationship would not disintegrate at the first misstep or disagreement. 

Reaching up, Larabee pulled the younger man’s chin around so that Vin was forced to look at him. Tanner dipped his head, sandy-brown strands falling over his face. It was as effective of a defense mechanism as a chameleon changing colors, except that Chris recognized it and knew how to circumvent it. 

With a sweep of his fingers, he brushed aside the long tresses and leaned forward, swiftly but passionately planting an effortless kiss to Vin’s temple. The Texan moaned softly and Chris followed the first kiss with more of the same across closed eyelids and down the bridge of his nose until he reached the soft, slightly-parted lips. 

Chris pecked gently, feeling reassured when Vin finally responded and kissed back. The contact was tentative and lacked the younger man’s typical sexual hunger, but Chris figured it was a start. 

Feeling the stress still manifested in the taut musculature of Vin’s frame, Chris guided his lover back until their bodies were lying flat on the bed, beside each other, warm flesh coming in contact enough to make his own groin tingle with desire. He shifted slightly so that he could lift up on his side freeing his arm so it could rest gently across Vin’s chest. 

“You know there’s nothing in this world that can  **_ever_ ** make me stop loving you…. Don’t you?” the blond asked sincerely. 

Vin was staring at the ceiling, his blue eyes reminding Chris of a spring storm coming in over the mountains. Larabee could see the pulse throbbing in the vein at his neck; could nearly count it, could feel the hammering of Vin’s heart in the chest beneath his palm. 

“You and me…” he continued. “This is it… no way someone like me gets three-times lucky…”

Vin snorted but didn’t avert his gaze. “Ya’ coulda’... ya’ still can…” he replied. 

“Not happenin’, pard.” 

“But… I…”

“What?” Chris interrupted, stopping the hurtful train of thought. “You what? Saved the lives of a woman you thought was in danger? Protected the lives of your teammates? Did the right thing?”

“But orders…”

  
Larabee erupted. “Screw orders and mission parameters and all of that bureaucratic bullshit! Sometimes you have to make split-second decisions or people die. You think I haven’t had to do that before?”

“You always been right?” Vin chose that moment to turn and look at him. His eyes boring into Chris’s, challenging him in a way only Vin could. 

“Fuck no… who do you think I am?” Larabee answered, offering a wry smile that quickly faded. “I’m not perfect, Vin. You of all people should know that. I’ve made some horrible mistakes both as a team member and as a team leader… things that I’ve questioned and will have to live with the rest of my life. But for the most part, I can sleep at night because the decisions I make have always been to maximize the chances for my team to come home alive. And I can always live with _ that _ .”

He watched as Vin seemed to consider his words, evaluating his sincerity, and measuring it against his character and the love he held for Chris. Yet, this wasn’t about the older agent, this was how Vin felt about what he considered his failures and Larabee worried that the young sniper was measuring himself against an unachievable standard.

“Tell me exactly what you think you did wrong?’’ Chris asked directly. “What should you have done differently?”

“I… I shoulda w..waited for you to clear me to shoot…” 

“And Ezra would be dead…” Chris waited a beat. “What else then? You’re cleared under protocol to take a shot without a supervisor’s authority if the situation warrants. So, that’s not it.”

“Maybe I coulda just shot Gale without killin’ him?” Tanner posed. “I’m s’posed to be the best, s’all I hear from ev’ryone… I coulda’ tried…”

Chris let loose a quick burst of laughter, stopping only as he caught sight of the shocked look on Vin’s face. 

“Remind me again where you were positioned?” the blond asked. 

Vin gave him a puzzled look as though his lover had gone completely crazy. “You know where I was... up in my hide atop that old grain building at the edge of town.”

Chris nodded in agreement. “Exactly… and that was how far would you guess from where Ezra and Gale had the actual meet, where they were standing by their vehicles?” 

“Shy of 500 yards… you know that? You getting Alzheimer’s or somethin’?” 

“Uh huh… so yet at 500 yards… more or less… you managed a headshot since the target was obscured and using a hostage as a shield,” Chris recounted. 

“I didn’t have a choice… it was the only clear shot I had. Couldn’t risk a reflex and him still pulling the trigger on that HK.” 

“But somehow you… at a distance of 500 yards… which I’m not sure I could’ve even seen Gale’s head much less put an accurate round into, and with him holding a hostage in front of his body… were going to find some other way to bring him down without firing a lethal shot?” 

Chris waited for the words to sink in. “I know you’re a helluva shot, Tanner, but even for you… that would’ve been nearly impossible.”

Larabee waited, purposely allowing Vin to think for a moment.

“So now that we’ve cleared up those two scenarios, tell me what else you could’ve done to have made this op come out perfectly… cause so many of them do. Maybe you could’ve prevented Team 4 from coming in from the east and ending up in that crossfire with Gale’s men? Or maybe You should’ve just shot through Gale’s daughter and taken both of those fanatics out and saved everyone the headaches… or hell, Vin… maybe you should’ve known about ElizabethMerrill or Bethany Gale or whatever her fucking name is from DHS, to begin with… then you wouldn’t have had to worry about who you were shootin’” 

Chris finished his rant and watched as Vin seemed to take it all in. 

“So, you’re sayin’ I did the right thing?” he asked after a moment, a tentative smile lifting the edge of his mouth. 

Larabee smiled widely back. “I never said you didn’t… and you shouldn’t listen to IAD fucks that are still trying to get even with me for that whole McNamore case from last year. This was revenge for us busting one of theirs and you just happened to be convenient. It’s me that should be apologizing to you, Vin.”

It was Tanner who now shook his head. “You got nothin’ to apologize to me for, Chris.”

“And I meant what I said before, there’s nothing in this world that can make me not love you.”

Vin’s eyes flashed down, that nagging lack of self-confidence still rearing its head. 

Chris leaned over until his face was just above Vin’s, their mouths and noses just inches apart, bare chests rubbing against each other. 

“I…” ( _ kiss ) _ “love…” _ (kiss) _ “you…” ( _ kiss.)  _

Chris let his left hand drift down Vin’s side, gently caressing his hip before straying over the soft nest of hair at his groin. The Texan’s cock lay listless against his thigh but as Chris’s hand brushed across the length, it twitched as though it had been hit with an electric charge. 

  
Chris tilted his head down slightly, nipping and licking at the side of Vin’s jaw and neck. Tanner moaned, turning his head to give the blond more access. A small victory, but a step in the right direction.    
  


“Tell me you understand…” Chris coaxed. 

Vin shivered like a scared colt. “Chris… I… I do… but…”

Chris kissed him again, seizing his mouth and silencing the doubt even as his left hand began to find a rhythm back and forth on Vin’s rapidly filling penis. His tongue invaded Tanner’s mouth, quickly stealing his breath before retreating for a rapid attack on the sniper’s neck. 

“Tell me you understand…” Chris repeated.

“But what if someday…”

“Never gonna happen…” Chris insisted as he pushed himself down Vin’s body, kissing, nipping, and sucking spots across the younger man’s chest, following an unmarked trail to his abdomen. 

Vin sucked in a stuttered breath even as his cock swelled in Chris’s hand.

“Tell me you understand…” Chis asked once again in between nuzzling at the base of Vin’s shaft and slowly licking a swatch completely up the length to the very tip ending by darting his tongue into the small slit and licking away the first droplets of pearlescent liquid.

Tanner’s body writhed in pleasure. His head tossed to the side even as his eyes snapped closed and his hands reached down to weave into the short blond strands of Chris’s hair. 

“Tell me… “

Larabee’s left hand moved to caress the firm sacs of his lover’s testicles, the pressure increasing even as his arousal continued to rise. Chris’s right hand snaked back up Vin’s chest and tweaked the taut nipple there.

“Tell me…” Chris echoed, his voice muffling as his face burrowed back into Vin’s groin. 

“I ain’t never gonna understand you, Chris...” Vin squeaked out as Larabee’s mouth settled over the head of the Texan’s cock. “But I guess I love ya’... and that’s good enough.”

Chris considered answering his lover but his desire and need to continue what he’d started earlier in the shower overruled any demand for verbal communication. 

Instead, he merely hummed his contentment and dropped his mouth further down on Vin’s cock, a smile spreading across his face as his lover let out a loud satisfied groan, his body slowly relaxing and yielding to Chris’s sensual touch.

_ I love you too, Vin… and I hope you always understand that!  _

  
  


_ *** finis *** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a wrap. Told you it was a shortie... and sorry to those of you that were waiting for the long, drawn-out Vin/Chris sex scene...I'd rather let you fill in the blanks with your imagination than ruin it with writing bad gunts and groans and putting rod A into slot B sort of stuff... Hopefully the little 'teases' and "touches" make it better... and if not- sorry... I'm an angst writer so maybe its only fitting if I create a bit of angst in the reader?? 
> 
> Anyway... as I've said, I don't write very fast- so you don't see new stuff from me very often - between that and what real life throws at me. But let me know if you did like it - even a little and maybe I'll see you soon with the next thing that crawls out of my head. 
> 
> Thanks for reading.


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